So, we had a Birthday a couple months ago...

Jeremy turned 3 years old in January! I am so slow at getting things posted onto the blog. I just got the photos off my camera!

We had a small party at our house. I totally forgot to take a picture of the cake! So, the best we get is Jeremy blowing out the candles on his Thomas the Tank Engine Cake. The party theme was Thomas. Jeremy picked it out.

Overall he had a great day, and made out like a bandit! He is so spoiled:) I love it! I can't believe 3 years has passed by already. My baby boy isn't a baby anymore.








Jeremy really loves balloons! He had a great time just playing with his bouquet of balloons that we made for him.

And 3 became 4

So, after ALL our struggles trying to conceive baby #2, I'm so happy to announce that we are expecting a baby mid-November!

After receiving the devastating news in January that our best option would be IVF, we really thought we would forever be a family of three. Much to my surprise, this past Thursday, since the old hag was nowhere to be found, I thought to myself "self, I have some home pregnancy tests sitting in the drawer, I might as well use one". I about fell out of my chair when it came up and said "YES+"!! I never thought in my life that I would get to surprise Matt with a pregnancy announcement. having your cycles closely monitored and doing fertility treatments really eliminates all elements of surprise.

So, Friday, Matt and I snuck away from Dad at the Heart Center to have a blood test to confirm the home test. Everything came back great. My HCG numbers are super high for where I am (over 6000) and progesterone is rocking! So, all looks to be well. Baby Button is firmly planted:)

We get to have our first Ultrasound on the 29th. We'll see a little gestational sac, and maybe the heartbeat of one (or TWO) babes. I will be 6 weeks tomorrow and I have NO Symptoms as of yet. Guess I'll have to start the Belly Shot gallery again!

Lungs and Hearts are Very Important

What a whirlwind of a time I have had! On Friday, March 11, 2011, my Mom finally got the call she's been waiting for. They had a match for her, and she would be receiving a brand new set of lungs!! I had prayed for a long time it the call would NOT come March10-13th because I was on team for the Kokomo Great Banquet #81, and Aunt Nan was a guest. But, wouldn't you know, Friday morning, before Talk 1 even started, my breast starts vibrating like crazy. (*yes, I keep my phone in my Over-The-Shoulder-Cell-Phone-Holder). I rode down to Methodist Hospital with Mom and Dad. I thought we would be rushed right through, and into surgery. But, we got there and waited for about 8 hours before they took her back for surgery at 6:30 PM. They did their first cut at 8:30 PM and placed the last staple at 3:30 AM Saturday morning. We got to file into ICU and see her briefly, then I returned to the Banquet, not getting any sleep until 12:30 AM on Sunday morning. I was tired!! She is doing well breathing with her new lungs, no rejection issues and no infection. She is having issues swallowing food into her lungs. So she will be on a feeding tube for awhile. AND, the drugs make her hallucinate terribly. We really can't convince her that what she is seeing isn't really happening.

Just to keep things exciting, Thursday night, the 17th, I received a call from my Dad saying he wasn't feeling well. He sounded really bad and indicated his throat was hurting. So, I offered to come up and drive him to the clinic. In route to his house, I thought I should call and check on him, and he said he was having really bad chest pains. So, I called 911 from the road. I thought he was having a heart attack! He ended up being life-lined from Dukes in Peru down to The Heart Center in Indy. After a LONG night (again) they did a cardio conversion (shocked him) and he is back in rhythm. He's had a history of Arrhythmia, and just had a bad episode. Dad is home now. Well, he's at OUR home with us for a couple days.

More craziness to come later!

Media Coordinator

Media Coordinator. That is my new title. I am starting a part-time job this week. Part-time meaning 10 hours per week. The job is at my church, coordinating Media (of course!). I'm excited to have a little extra income, as our budget needed some serious breathing room. I'm excited to learn new things. I learned Media Shout today with Lloyd. I have to learn about Web Pages as well, so I can update ours. It will be fun, and add a little bit of spice to my normally routine days. I've been praying for something that I could do to earn a little income without actually actually working regularly, as taking care of Jeremy is my first priority. So, this opportunity certainly fits the bill, and came at just the right time!

We love Dr. Not-so-Doom-and-Gloom

Matt and I met with the Doctor yesterday, and we got good news. Although he would do the IVF right now if we wanted, he did suggest a few things we could do to increase our chances with another IUI. So, Matt is on a a nice vitamin and med routine, then we will reassess the situation in a few months. Prayers that the new routine will completely take away our fertility problem, and and we don't even have to make a decision about IVF in the future.

Struggles

I struggle. Big decisions make me decide, rethink, reconsider, stay up late at night thinking...or blogging. It is just so hard to know what to do.

In the past 36 hours, I've conceived (pun intended) all kinds of ways to not accept that we won't have more children.

1) First thought, try IUI again, just see if we can save up some "deposits" and add them together:) Makes sense to me. I think we will suggest that to the Doctor.

2) Save, for several years. The fear being, we will have to put A LOT of other things on hold to save that much money. But, if it works, it would so be worth it. If it doesn't, we just put A LOT of other things on hold to chase a dream.

3) Theoretically, we have access to about half of what we need on our own....could we do Fundraisers? My parents are willing to help. My mom is even willing to sell her sports car. If I gave her another grandchild, she wouldn't even miss the car. But, this is putting all our eggs (literally) in one basket. We could be left with no money, no car, and no baby.

4) Pull a Brothers and Sisters move and have Matt's 6 brothers all make a deposit together, then cheer on those Hartke swimmers! Okay, not serious about that one........well....it's not a terrible idea, is it? However, it didn't end well on Brothers and Sisters when they had to determine who was ACTUALLY the biological father.

So...still praying. Praying for guidance. Praying for clear answers. If it is meant to be, praying that God will provide the money. If not, praying for contentment. I did feel content tonight, as I watch Jeremy wrestle with his grandpa. I love that little boy.

Heartbreak

We got the news today. Our only option to conceive a child is through IVF with ICSI. Without insurance coverage, and hefty price tag of $12,000-$15,000, it simply is not an option for us. I spent my morning hours just crying. Crying tears of anger, tears of heartache, tears for Jeremy. All my dreams of having a big family, crushed.

I'm trying to see the bright side. I'm praying that God with grant me peace of mind, and a feeling of contentment with our first Miracle child. Our wonderfully perfect little boy. I pray that he feels content being an only child, and never feels slighted not having a built in playmate.

For those that do pray, my request to you as that you pray for our family. That God grants us a feeling a peace. That God filters out the people who like to say "Isn't it about time you expand your family???" because my patience is thin. That God will reveal to us the benefits of having only one child, so we can rejoice in our situation, and relish the rest of our life as a family of three.

Pictures:)

We haven't posted any pictures recently on the blog, so I thought maybe I should add a few:)

These are all from October 2010. As tradition dictates, we went to the pumpkin patch and picked some pumpkins again. This year, Jeremy was a BIG help in the carving process. He stuck his hand in and pulled out all the goo so I could carve the pumpkin. Last year, he would not put his hand in the pumpkin for anything! Unfortunately, the squirrels ate the pumpkin as soon as it went on the porch. Thomas the Tank Engine is a big hit at our house these days. So, we went to the store to get a Batman Costume (which Jeremy said he wanted), but saw Thomas there and of course changed our mind. He was a great Thomas! Even if trick-or-treating only lasted about 3 houses. People dress up WAY to scary to hand candy out to little kids. Halloween is not our thing.

It Wasn't Meant To Be...

I. Hate. Infertility. I know hate is a strong word, but in this case, it is truly appropriate. I am starring you down Infertility, and I HATE you!

We just completed round 3 of IUI's. We have not told many people about our attempts, just a very select few, and of course, those of you who actually do read my blog.

We took a pregnancy test at 4 weeks, and as I suspected, it was negative. We were dissappointed, but, okay with that. However, a week later, I still hadn't gotten that dreaded monthly visitor, affectionately known as Flo. So, without Matt knowing, I took another test. That test was inconclusive, because if you held it in just the right light, and squinted, you could see a very faint line. That's what I get for buying the CHEAPEST tests I could find. So, I went in for the blood test, and got a Digital test on the way home. The digital report was : YES+

OH, I was so excited! Now I get to surprise Matt! We get to surprise our family for Christmas! I texted Matt the cutest picture of Jeremy holding an "I'm a Big Brother" sign. We plotted how we were going to have our parents open a gift with an ultrasound picture (yes, one bonus to infertility is the slew of early ultrasounds).

Then the nurse called. The blood work wasn't good. MY HCG (pregnancy hormone) was very low for 5 weeks, and I should prepare myself for miscarriage. Four hours of extremely happy to a crash. Two days later, I officially miscarried. Next step is giving my body a break. Conducting a few more tests to see what's happening. Waiting.

Did I mention how much I HATE infertility?

Dissappointment

I hate the feeling of dissappointment. One would think, that having been through all I've been through over the last several years, I would learn God has a plan for me. I do know that. But, I can't help but not get those pesky feelings of dissappointment out of the way.

Most recently, we had our first attempt with the fertility doctor at giving Jeremy a sibling. It didn't work. Dissappointment. God has a plan for us.

Insurance rant...Grr....

So, if you have read our blog at all, you know that we had issues becoming pregnant and resorted to fertility treatments to get Jeremy. I felt very blessed because we had great insurance that covered our treatments. In 2009, our church insurance changed, and we were concerned about the fertility coverage. Everything checked out, coverage changed slightly, but still there.

Now that we are looking into treatments again, we just found out that this January our insurance dropped all fertility coverage! This makes me very sad. Being a single income household on a church worker salary, fertility expenses can add up really quickly.

$130 meds, $489procedure, hope for a new baby: PRICELESS

GeoCache, anyone?

GeoCaching is my new addiction! I heard of GeoCaching quite some time ago, but did not have a GPS. We got a car GPS for Christmas, but, it isn't designed for off road use, and gets mad at me if I leave a roadway, so, it wasn't right for GeoCaching. However, a couple weeks ago I got a Garmin eTrex at a garage sale for 5 bucks! I've been out caching ever since!

I've found some fairly easy hides, fallen down an embankment and scraped up my arm, bushwacked my way here and there, and several times couldn't find a darn thing. I've taken Jeremy out hunting in the park and some local cemeteries. Matt even has been out looking as well. He's not as good as I am at finding things. He can't even find the ketchup in the pantry. :)

Anyone else out there GeoCache? My username is Theshows. Look me up!

Parent Orientation ???

I am very excited that Jeremy will be attending preschool this year. It is only one morning each week, but it will be great for him to play with other children his age. He will be going to Little School, which is the preschool program at our church. It is a very well respected program within the community.

So, last night was parent orientation. As the Director was going over the handbook, a mom raised her hand to ask a question. She voiced concerns about the curriculum, stating she doesn't want religion pounded into her child's head.

Uh.....you do realize that this is a Christian Preschool....right??? OF COURSE they will talk about Jesus and pray, learn bible stories and songs. The world gets dumber every day. I often wonder what our kids future will look like at this rate of increasing stupidity. **sigh**

Number 2?

My college girlfriends will tell you, that I always said I wanted 10 kids. Yes, 10. Granted, getting a later start on marriage, dealing with infertility, I think 10 is most definitely NOT in my future. Matt and I did pare down the 10 to just 4 when we were first married, but, given the same above circumstances, unless I have some multiples, 4 probably won't happen either.

The dilemma: when you have one absolutely perfect child, how do you take the plunge to add another. What are the chances that kid number 2 will be as equally good of a child? My reasoning, chances aren't good and we are treading on thin ice. Our number 2 would likely be a wild child, rocking the peaceful little boat we are so happily floating on. But, we do have that desire for more children.

I guess you just have to take the plunge.

Summer

This has been most certainly the best summer of recent years. I love it HOT, and it has been HOT! I love spending time at the lake, and we've done quite a lot of that. Although, not enough. I would go every weekend if it were up to me. Unfortunately, Matt works on Sunday and he has had a lot of stuff happening this summer. Here are a few pictures of our summer, as it quickly is approaching it's end.

This was our first swim of the season. Memorial Day weekend. It has literally been YEARS, possible even a DECADE since I have entered the lake on Memorial Day. It has always been too cold. It was a wonderful weekend. Jeremy became acquainted with his favorite floatation device from last year. He is PRO at stearing and kicking himself around in this little boat.Jeremy was posing for a lot of pictures in Mommy's sun hat. Everyone needs a little sun protection! Jeremy is a big fan of driving the "Water Airplane". At first, he didn't mind going fast. Uncle David did a fast turn and got him wet, so now we must drive slow.

Aunt Nan brought her Kayak up one weekend. Jeremy really enjoyed this ride! I would too if I could have just sat in front and not paddle!He also loves swimming. Here he sits, waiting patiently, until we are ready to get in.

Last, but not least, we must look for fish. We bought a Jr. fishing pole this year, but unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of him actually using it! So, he lays on the pier, with anyone he can sucker into laying with him, to look for the fish.

Facebook made me a bad blogger

Matt and I used to do a good job updating our blog. Then, Laura (my sister-in-law) introduced me to this lovely thing called Facebook. Facebook has led to our lack in blogging since we can instantly post pictures from our phone and post status updates whenever something interesting (or not so interesting) happens. It's faster and easier, plain and simple.

I miss blogging though. Blogging let's me write as much or as little as I want. People make fun of me when I do a status update that is a paragraph. So, I'm setting a goal. I will add to my blog at least once a week. There is always something new to post about since Jeremy is now 2.5, and doing many fun and silly things. So, blog followers, I'll do my best to keep it up!

Extreme Home Makeover: Bunker Hill

Jeremy and I had the opportunity to go to the site of Extreme Home Makeover: Bunker Hill today. He got a little bored while waiting. We did a lot of waiting. But, once those tractors started tearing down the house, he was glued! He keeps saying "House, Boom!" now. It's pretty funny.

Jeremy's Dictionary

Jeremy is really beginning to say a lot. Matt and I get a huge chuckle out of some of his words. And, we love that because we are his parents, we understand much more than the general population:)

Shish=fish, or if he is pointing at the TV, he wants to watch Finding Nemo He LOVES that movie!

Lock=Shrek, another movie he seems to like. He also has two stuffed Shrek's he carries around.

Nilk=Milk

PoopTarts=PopTarts

Nea=Tea, or anything in a cup with a straw (Daddy and Mommy are addicted to tea, half sweet, half unsweet, easy on the ice)

Ice=Water with ice in his sippy cup

Noc or Nanox=Sonic (Our pet hedgehog)

hissing sound= Cat

Roars or roar roar=animal crackers

That is all I can think of right now. My son is so stinking cute!

CAR WASH!

Something that Daddy and Who like to do together is wash Mommy's car. He was unsure about it the first week...but as you will see, he is ALL about helping now. Here is a picture and a video for you to laugh with.





When mommy asked him about how he was helping...this was his response:



Obviously, you don't want to interupt Who when he is working.

Jeremy and his Fish

Jeremy loves to fish. Not only fish...but fish with Grandpa. Here are some GREAT pictures of them fishing.


When Jeremy isn't fishing, he HAS to be watching fish. Right now...all he wants to watch is Finding Nemo. At the lake this weekend, he watched it EVERY time he was inside. Here he is watching it with Grandma.