10 Week Belly Shot

Here it is, 10 weeks. I think things are starting to grow!

Just for statistical purposes:

Girth: 35 inches at belly button

Weight: +1 lb. (after lunch)

(I came back the next day, I think most the belly yesterday was bloat.....)

Baby's First Picture

Our first picture of the newest baby Hartke. For those of you who need help, the head is the round circle on the right :) It was SO amazing to see on the U/S machine, as it was so much more clear. Right away you could see a tiny white spot in the middle of the lower circle, just beating away! We got to hear the heartbeat, and it was so strong! I saw the arms, but you can't see them quite as well in the photo. I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off my heart after seeing the baby. All is well, and we pray things continue to go so smoothly for us. We are so blessed.

Oh, this is 9 weeks, 4 days.

8 Week 2 Days Belly Shot

Here it is! I still think it's just my usual fat that is hanging out there. I should have been measuring my belly. Maybe I'll start doing that now.

I went up 4 pounds, morning sickness hit and I lost 4 pounds, now I am back up 4 pounds. Maybe I'll just keep losing and dropping those same four pounds!

Morning Sickness begins

Today Morning Sickness kicked in full force. I got up and ate breakfast, as usual. Went about my business of getting ready for church. Just as we were walking out the door, it hit me. I threw up in the grass.

This evening after we ate dinner and came home, hello again. I'm realizing, it comes on not too long after I eat. That's not good. A girl has to eat.

Fortunately for me, and Matt, I've never really minded puking. I just do it and get on with it. So, I won't complain too much. I've been waiting two years to feel this way, so, I'll do my best to enjoy it.

6 Week Belly Shot

Here is 6 weeks. I don't think it's baby yet, still just fat.

First UltraSound~ Viability Scan

We had our viability scan today. And all was well. The baby was measuring at 5 weeks, 3 days. Ovulation calculations put us at 6 weeks. The Dr. said as long as baby measures within a week on either side, it's okay. We didn't get to keep the picture today, but we go back June 25th. Hopefully we can keep that one!

What I learned today:

I learned that pregnant women should NOT clean out the refridgerator. Matt offered to do it, after I was gagging over the trash can.

Bloodwork is very Positive

I had my first bloodwork done on Thursday, after we got a positive HPT. The checked my progesterone levels (which I did not get results from) and quantitative HCG. The HCG level was 158. That's pregnant!

I was scheduled for another one for Saturday (about 48 hours later). Just as a precaution, they do the second one to see that your numbers are going up. They should double every 48 hours. I was VERY nervous about this. I just kept thinking they would say, "we're sorry, but your level is only 50", which would be indicitive of miscarriage. I had this overwhelming sense of dread all day. However, I got my results and it was 338! That's GREAT news! Now, if I can just relax, and trust that God will care for the tiny baby. Not an easy task sometimes, but, I'll pray about it and we'll get through.

Okay, here it is, the REFERENCE photo

Okay, so this is the very first belly photo for you. That little bump, that's fat. Not baby. This is 4 weeks, 1 day. If I remember, I'll try to post a new picture every week. Any bets on when I start showing baby, not just fat?

WE'RE PREGNANT!!

Well, here it is. After praying so hard for so long, our prayers have been answered. We are still in SHOCK! I never thought that our first IUI would work. But, as you can see, it did!

The Doctor told us we could test on May 17th, but, I was going to hold out a little longer. I cracked, and POAS (that's Peed On A Stick) and thought I saw a faint line, so I decided I better try a different test. It was DEFINATELY a nice pink line. So, of course, we just had to have MORE proof, so we took the pretty digital that you see here. And, expected it to say, "not pregnant". When we turned it over and looked, we were just in shock and awe. WE are finally pregnant.

Now, going through the infertility journey we have, I know alot can go wrong. I pray so hard that this baby (or babies) stick and grow big and strong. Thank you God for answering our prayers!

IUI #1

We had our first IUI last Thursday. It has been quite a journey for us and the day came with much anxiety and excitement. On Tuesday before the IUI, we had an ultrasound to verify that my ovaries did their job (with the help of a friendly drug called Femara) and made some eggs. We had two very nice eggs, one on each ovary. They measured 22mm and 24mm.

That night, my Grandpa gave me a shot of HCG to trigger the release of my two mature eggs. (Matt was at a meeting, Grandma and Mom were chicken, so Grandpa got the honor of giving the shot in the butt!) The shot wasn't bad at all, I barely felt it.

Thursday morning, bright and early we went in for our insemination. It was not bad. Similiar to an annual exam. I had to remain laying on the table for 30 minutes, and the nurse set a little kitchen timer. The timers dial had a sperm on it! It was somewhat humorous.

So, now we wait. And wait. And wait some more. The waiting is already very hard, and it has only been 6 days!

We are sending up much prayer that at least one egg fertilized and implanted. I'm getting very impatient as we have just crossed our 2 years mark of trying.

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," or "things happen for a reason", of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.

"These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?

"What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?"

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility."

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down."

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

"While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

(Excerpted from a post on ivfconnections.com - IVF Boards)

Title edited : because yes KATE, you're right, it is NOT the will of God for any woman to be childless. "I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren in your land." Exodus 23:25-26

A Poem I Found

I found this poem and it touched my heart. For those of you who know Matt and I, you know our journey.

Some Day Baby

I wait, and I wait and I wait and I wait.
The slow horse still wanting out of the gate.
Hoping you'll begin before it's too late.
Where are you? My someday baby.

Each night I pray a prayer for you.
It is a prayer for daddy and me too.
I pray taht I will someday feel you
My kicking someday baby.

Everyday I see children everywhere around.
I long to hear your laughing, cooing sound.
Your fingers areound my one tightly wound
My happy someday baby.

How will you smile? What color your eyes?
How swill you like your birthday surprise?
Will you come to mommy to comfort your cries?
Wondrous you, my someday baby.

I touch terry sleepers, and booties so small
And wonder how much longer my heart can bear all.
Hoping and wishing through now my third fall
To spoil my someday baby.

How I long to rock you to sleep,
And to rub your head until you dream deep.
To watch you roll over and sit and then crrep
My sweet little someday baby.

The things others think are a pain you see
Sound like a piece of heaven to me.
To be awakened by something other than dreams
My pleasure, my someday baby.

I don't know when you'll see this, or if you'llk now
How much my heart dreamed of you, prayed for you so.
To feel you, and watch you and help you to grow
My love, my someday baby.

I do hope and I pray, and sneak cries though the day
with hope daddy and I will have you "someday".
The sooner rather than later you can hear my say
"With love I welcome you", my someday baby.

Trying this out...Thanks to Laura

Well, I have been so intriqued by Laura's blog, so I thought maybe Matt and I could start one! Granted, we don't have any cute children to write about, but we do have some pretty cool cats! (Matt loves just one of them, I love them both).

We are finally getting settled into "our" house in Indiana. Matt is LOVING his new job and I am still in the process of finding one. I am growing accustomed to being at home all day though, unfortunately, we have these pesky things called BILLS!

That's it for post number 1. Hopefully we will have more exciting things to post about in the near future.